In the title...up at the top...does that say there's a monster at the end of this blog?!
I'm scared of monsters. Especially the kind that pop up out of nowhere. Like at the end of a normally pleasant read. Such as this one.
SO DON"T READ ANY FURTHER!
I get up to use the bathroom at least once every night. You don't realize how many mirrors you have in your house until you try to avoid looking into one on the way to the toilet at two o'clock in the morning. I'm terrified of seeing something standing behind me. Or catching a quick glimpse of something sinister as it crosses the room. It's stupid, I know...if there was something in my room, I doubt it would wait until I woke up to take a piss before it ate my soul.
WHY ARE YOU STILL READING!! Didn't you hear there's a monster at the end of this blog?!
Sometimes my son comes into my room at night and just stands beside my bed. To make matters worse, he drapes his blanket over his head and wraps up in it. I wake up from the sense that someone is watching me, and there he is, just hovering there like a phantom, his face blacked out by shadow. I inevitably teach him a new cuss word each time I'm freaked-out into consciousness. Last night I said, "Son-of-a-shit-balls." No idea what that means. Once I cried, "Mother-ghost-hell" into the night, and my son actually giggled. He's standing there, covered in his blanket, looking like a tiny murderer, laughing at me.
You're still here? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? Get out while you still can!
My dog growls at invisible things at night. I've crept around the house more than once with my pistol point cocked...ready to lay shots non-stop until I see that monkey ass drop. And let their homies know who done it. But I digress...and yes, that rap song, like many rap songs, does have racial slurs.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING! Don't click that link! It takes you to the end of the blog! And there's creepy, scary monsters at the end of the blog with great big nasty teeth!
MONSTERS
