If you know me at all, you'd be acutely aware that not only do a lot of things bother me, but I also tend to be quite verbal in my dissatisfaction with them.
Here are five things that have had my temperature rising and my mouth running lately:
1. Stores that offer deep discounts on their wares, such as Kohl's. Hey, 70% off! Awesome! Oh, wait...they marked the prices up 80% higher than they should have been in the first place, and then put them on sale for 70% off...opposite of awesome. I was in a hat store in St. Augustine last weekend and they had a hat I liked for $30. I didn't buy it, but in the next hat shop (there are three hat shops right next door to each other) I found the same hat for $35. But it was labeled SALE - $5 OFF. Pretty sure they think we're stupid...probably for good reason.
2. Stores that ask you for your phone number/zip code at checkout. Um...how does this have anything to do with the eight 2x4's I'm trying to purchase? It doesn't...unless you happen to do a little research and find that they can merge your phone number/zip code with your credit card number to find out your address and then procede to send you mounds of junk mail. But that's not even the real problem. Let's say a hacker decides he wants that information, too. Then let's say you didn't want to be rude by refusing to give your personal information to the seventeen-year-old punk behind the register. Well now the hacker not only has your credit card number, he also knows your phone number and where you live...information that will go great with your stolen identity.
3. Facebook/Instagram memes that begin with "Niggas be like..." or "Bitches be like..." or "White people be like..." or whatever other stereotypical description for a group of human beings they're talking about. I'm just sick of ghetto language. It's not "White people be like..." It's "White people ARE like..." At this point, I don't even care about the racial slurs and derogatory connotations. Just speak proper frickin' English, and stop celebrating the fact that you sound like an idiot.
4. Since we're talking about Facebook...I loath posts that say something to the effect of, "Name a fish that doesn't contain the letter 'A' in its name. Bet you can't ;)" Well I can name about a hundred. And so can anyone else with half a brain. If your sole purpose in life is to see how many comments you can get on a post, I feel sorry for you. And that little winky face at the end makes me want to punch you in the throat.
5. Candy Crush. I hate that @&%*ing game! Because I am addicted to it. This stupid game brings more cuss words out of my mouth than old people driving in front of me. Yet I can't stop playing it. It's like that picture of Kramer. It's hideous, yet i can't look away. This game takes up way too much of my time. Yet. I. Can't. Stop. Playing. Candy. Crush!
To top it all off, the fact that these things get to me is really starting to get to me. Is there anything worse than being irked at being irked at something?
I say, "Yes, yes there is." It's your wife being irked that your irked at something.
