I Got It At Ross

My birthday was last month, and in accordance with birthday tradition, I received a reasonable amount of gifts. Unfortunately, two of those gifts were articles of clothing that did not fit. So I acquired the receipt for said ill-fitting gifts and journeyed to the place of purchase in order to exchange/return them.

The place of purchase happened to be Ross.

Well, they didn't have my size. As usual. So I waited patiently in line with the expectation that I would return the clothes and use the money I receive to find the articles of clothing at another store.

What follows is a detail of my interaction with the customer service lady (CSL), and subsequently, her store manager (SM):

Me: I'd like to return these. They don't fit.
CSL: Do you have a receipt?
Me: Yep. Here you go.
CSL: I can't find this on the receipt.
Me: (leaning over the counter and pointing) It's right there.
CSL: Oh, okay.

After several minutes...

CSL: Would you like store credit or would you like it to be put back on the card?
Me: I'd like cash, please.
CSL: It was purchased with a credit card, so store policy will only allow me to put a refund back on the card it was purchased with or issue store credit.
Me: I have the items I need to return and I have a receipt. The clothes were a gift for my birthday, so putting it back on the card would essentially be the same as me not receiving a birthday present. I don't want store credit because you don't have my size in the items I am returning. I'd like cash back, please.
CSL: It's not store policy to give cash back for purchases made with a credit card. We could put it on the card and then you can have the person who purchased it give you cash?
Really?
Me: I'd like to speak to a manager.

Meanwhile a line has formed in the exchanges/returns aisle. After another several minutes, the store manager arrives.

SM: It's not store policy to give cash back for purchases made with a credit card. We could put it on the card and then you can have the person who purchased it give you cash?
Again. Really?
Me: No I think I prefer cash.
SM: The computer system isn't set up to refund cash for purchases made with a credit card. (she proceeds to turn her computer screen toward me so that I can see the only options are "store credit" and "refund to card")
Me: I'm sorry but I'm not really interested in how your computer system is set up. I still want cash.
SM: (Sighs loudly) Let me call my district manager to see what he says.

She disappears to the back of the store. The line begins moving again as I step aside and allow the customer service lady to take other customers. Several more minutes pass, and then the store manager returns.

SM: My district manager said I could make an exception this one time as long as you accept our store policy in the future.
Me: Thanks, but I do not accept your store policy now, nor will I in the future.
SM: (Rolls her eyes) Just so you know we are making a one-time exception.
Me: Will you be making that exception using the same computer that you personally claimed could not handle that type of transaction?
SM: (Remains awkwardly silent as she processes the CASH refund on the very computer that was incapable of processing a CASH transaction mere minutes before) Here's your refund, sir. Have a nice day.
Me: Can I have all ones please?
SM: (Sighs loudly and trades the larger bills for Ones) Is there anything else?
Me: No thank you. Have a good one.

Then I used my newly acquired cash money to make it rain all over the counter and the store manager.

Okay, I made that last part up. But the moral of the story is this: Store policy is Bull$#!7.